Change your attitude and nibble through anything

Dave the Goat Case Farm Founder

In today’s ever-changing landscape, it’s becoming increasingly crucial to be agile and resilient to the problems and obstacles it presents. However, the problem is not lack of resources; it’s mind-set.

Alas, not all hope is lost. Change your mind-set, and before too long you’ll be chomping your way through life.

If you find yourself struggling to make your way through the world, just follow my 6 simple steps to change your attitude – and you too will be able to nibble through anything.

  1. Laundry

Traditionally, one of the most satisfying nibbles has always been laundry. Times change, but fortunately the tastiness of laundry doesn’t. There’s no special technique or secret trick to get through laundry quickly, just enjoy it whilst it lasts.

Owners are notorious for hating nibbled laundry so you won’t want to be around when they get back. Get in there, get your nibbling done, and make yourself scarce.

  1. Finances

A recent survey rated money as the number one cause of stress in any goat’s life. Keeping on top of your finances and nibbling right through them is essential to a happy, healthy lifestyle. Keep track of the date your bills usually come through the letterbox, and be sure to be there waiting when the postman is due.

Snatching the envelopes straight from their hand as they enter the household and chewing through them before they’ve even been opened is the best way to reduce problems with finances and the associated stress.

EDIT: We’ve received a number of messages since publishing in regards to this point. Many goats are complaining that nibbling through paper bills only masks the problem and doesn’t solve it, as they begin to be bombarded with payment chasing telephone calls. What to do in this situation? Nibble through it like you would any other problem. Chew through the telephone wires or if it’s a mobile, right into the phone (and try to swallow the sim card if possible). Come on kids, try and keep up.

  1. Groceries

Groceries are inevitably one of the most enjoyable nibbles out there, with the added bonus of a great taste to go with your satisfying nibble. The pinnacle of all groceries is of course tin cans. Nibbling into the cans themselves when unopened can be tricky, but that’s neither here nor there if you can’t access them in the first place. If you’re lucky, you might find tin cans located in a lower cupboard unit in the kitchen. Depending on the cupboard and your horns, you may be able to carefully hook yourself onto the cupboard handle and pull it open, granting yourself access to a trove of canned goods… if not you’re only option will be to nibble through the cupboard itself.

If you’re unlucky, and tin cans are located in an upper kitchen cupboard, you’ll need to firstly navigate yourself onto the counter. The three best ways to do this are:
1. Using a children’s height extender stool
2. Climbing onto the kitchen bin and then onto the side
3. Mounting a large friend, using them as a step up to the counter

If you do manage to gain access to the unopened tin cans, be wary that they’re going to take a lot of nibbling to get through. Take them to a safe place where you can nibble in private, undisturbed.

  1. Consumer Choice

I remember a simpler time when if you wanted something you’d trot down to the local shop and you’d buy it. These days though, there’s ten of everything. I was in Tesco the other day and there were ten different washing detergents. Ten! Consumer choice is becoming a real problem.

Buying electronics is even worse; don’t get me started on electronics. Anyway, fortunately for you I’ve figured out a fantastic way to sort through the marketing BS and make an informed decision without any of the faff.

Firstly, identify the sources of information. Brochures, mobile apps, websites, TV adverts, billboards the list is endless. Whatever it is you’re looking to buy, identify as many sources as you can and get everything laid out on the kitchen counter. Websites will need to be printed and for TV ads and billboards you may need to take a quick snap on your phone, upload the image to the cloud, download it onto your computer and print it out.

Once you’ve got everything ready and neatly lined up in front of you, you can finally begin to get to the bottom of this pesky problem and figure out which is best. All you need to do, is nibble through every last piece. Whichever is the tastiest, will be the best choice. Simple.

  1. Relaxation

Technology is routed firmly in our lives these days, and whilst the benefits are endless, there’s a downside to it too. Finding time to relax when your phone is pinging every five minutes and YouTube videos and Netflix won’t stop playing in your ear can be really challenging.

The best approach is to block all of this out and find your happy place. This will often just be the sofa in your living room. However, sometimes when you have a mountain to climb it can feel overwhelming and difficult to even know where to begin. When you’re faced with a whole sofa to nibble through, it can feel like the job’s just never going to get done. It’s important not to focus on the sofa as a whole though, and instead break the task down into smaller chunks. Nibble off the initial cushion fabric first and deal with this chunk before you move onto the next.

To Conclude

Hopefully by now you’re starting to realise that there is truly no such thing as an insurmountable task. No matter what the world throws at you, there’s always a way out; and more often than not, that way is nibbling.

Next time that life gives you lemons, don’t sit there moaning about it. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Pick yourself back up, and nibble the crap out of those lemons. Life’s dealt you a bad hand? Awwww, well I eat bad hands for breakfast.

Now go out there, and nibble your way through anything.


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